Streetlights

URDANETA CITY, PANGASINAN. On our way to Baguio City.

URDANETA CITY, PANGASINAN. On our way to Baguio City.

THIS IS MY first travel for this year. As I write this, I am in Baguio City enjoying my little peace and quiet on a cold January morning.

I’ve been on and off the road in the past three months. I do not remember going out of town more than twice a year, so this is very unusual to me. I never had enough money to finance it, and my mom never really allowed me to explore the world as a grown up. But contrary to the many fears and reasons my family may have to keep me inside the house or within the region, I am never afraid to travel, not even on my own. I like the sense of movement and independence it gives me. I like the sight of traffic signs and headlights flashing in and out of my vision. It gives me that feeling that everyone’s going to a certain place, and that everyone finally includes me.

I like being on the road, seeing the sight by my window change so often and fast. It makes me feel as if I am going somewhere and achieving something. I’m not getting a job or starting a new life by being on a moving bus. But somehow, something’s changing inside me. It is as if my inner child is staring at and watching things wide-eyed. It gives me a sense of growth, that same feeling I have watching a time-lapse of a seed maturing into a plant, or a bud into a flower. I know I am not changed, though. I am the same physically. But inside me everything changes. As if parts of me are laughing, dancing, singing, running, jumping, and flying all at the same time. It is as if a part of me is growing taller, bigger. I don’t know what it is exactly, but whatever it is, I know that I want to keep it that way.

This is quite a profound way of kissing my year hello, but this is how I am starting it. I want to be on the road, to have my inner child gawk in awe and wonder, and to feel that I am moving more often this year. I hope movement, learning, and growth define my 2015. So help me, God.

*This is an expanded diary entry written on my first morning in Baguio City, 16 January 2015.

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